Thursday, May 29, 2014

11 Days and I'm Melting Down...

Well, it's 11 days post-fall, and this morning, I lost it.  Full on, sobbing in the car, sobbing at work, lost it.  Why?  Well, my initial "fell, got bruised, drat!" has turned into "fell and really, seriously hurt myself".  (By the way, if you are totally lost, read about my fall during my last long run HERE).

Since my last update, I've returned to the doctor and got a lovely diagnosis of partial tear/sprain of my MCL (medial collateral ligament) in my right knee.  No MRI (yet), and orders to rest and start physical therapy at home (got a list of prescribed exercises).  I started on those last night, and shockingly I was in excruciating pain!  Again, not sure why I would think anything different, but I honestly didn't think much of this fall.  I really thought once I was "pain free" I'd be back running quickly.  I hardly slept at all, and now I can't walk up the stairs.
My "I hate this" look

Fast forward to this morning.  I left my cell phone upstairs and started up the first few steps to grab it before heading to work.  Ouch.  It hurt.  Bad.  Really, really bad.  Stabbing in the back of my knee, bad.  Oh my gosh something is really wrong bad.  Let the pity party begin.  Okay, not as simple as a pity party; more like a full-on meltdown!  I'm super frustrated with the doctor telling me to "wait and see" before getting an MRI or seeing a specialist.  I'm super frustrated with myself for being so careless on my run and tripping.  I'm super frustrated at the very real possibility that I will need to take time off and really have to fix a serious injury.

I have a full race calendar planning for fall/winter, not to mention a second job at the gym which I've been absent from for two weeks.  My spirit is a little broken; my heart is hurting.  I'm feeling so defeated.  My running schedule proudly posted on the fridge, held up by my Mickey parts magnets, under my Dopey Challenge decals, mocks me everyday.  (okay, maybe this is my pity party)

Now, don't get me wrong...I know it could be WAY worse.  I know this is a blip in time and in the grand scheme of life, this is really nothing.  But today, on day 11, I'm melting down.

No comments:

Post a Comment